What "Beta" are you?

According to my spirituality, a "beta" is an unrefined and reckless human who's behaviour is comprised of erratic and harmful traits. Thus rendering them incapable of becoming "alpha"...Alpha being foremost and honoured amongst men.

Here is a VERY BRIEF and INCOMPLETE rundown of the 4 types of prominent beta behaviour:

1) THE EMPTY CAN: Loud, competitive, insecure, empty - The empty can is often found yelling over another persons voice, often book smart but lacking any real world experience, lover of trivial and irrelevant information.

2) THE SWINE: Greedy, flesh-obsessed, materialistic - The swine shuns spirituality and that which isn't percieved by the 5 senses, believes that those with the most toys win, completely oblivious to the needs and suffering of those around them.

3) THE BULLY: All brawn, violent - The bully believes might makes right, often found intimidating the intelligent and talking incessantly about weightlifting.

4) THE ONE-SIDED COIN: Overly self-confident, stubborn, know-it-all - The coin feels they don't need to take advice from anyone, due to the fact that they and they alone have found the righteous path of true prosperity. The coin is unwilling to try our even consider new things.

* Now, before you write back in a frenzy, armed to the teeth with witty insults, be mindful that all my writings of this sort come with a HUGE disclaimer. I don't think I'm perfect...not even close! ENJOY!